Financial Cost | Taking Care Of A Parent Blog | Taking Care Of Elderly Parents

November is National Family Caregivers Month

November is National Family Caregivers Month which means this is a good time to discuss the options available for your elderly parents long term care.

Don’t wait for an “emergency” such as a heart attack or stroke to decide what to do when your parents need long term care. When this happens you have to make the decision quick, usually in a few days, which doesn’t give you much time to decide what is best for your parent or yourself. Remember insurance does not cover everything which also means there could be a huge financial expense for you or your parents.

This is a good time to discuss with your parents what they want and need for their long term care needs. You need to find out if they have a plan for who is going to care for them such as assisted living, a private caregiver, staying in their own home, etc. or they might think that you might become their caregiver and want to move in with you in the later years. This all needs to be discussed before the “emergency” happens. You need to decide if you can become a caregiver due to the enormous amount of work and time that is involved. Becoming a caregiver is a life changing experience and can alter your lifestyle in many ways. If you have a family it can put more pressure on you as you try to care for children and your parents.

Financial pressure is also a major concern especially if your parents have little or no assets. Medicare, supplement insurance and long term care insurance does not cover everything, so some expenses will have to come out of your parents pocket or yours if they have no money. Another financial consideration is that if they have assets, what happens if they live longer and the money runs out, who makes up the difference? Where do they live if they no longer can afford assisted living? Financial aid programs might be available but what happens if they don’t qualify?

There are many questions that need to be considered when planning your parents long term care. That is why they need to be discussed before your parents have an “emergency” so you can learn what options are best for them and yourself. Since November is National Family Caregivers Month, this is a good reminder to start the discussion so you can be prepared for the “emergency” and not be blind sided by all the details that need a decision in a short time.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

A Topic Not Discussed

Some want to become caregivers and others it is a cultural issue to take care of their parents. Many others have no choice but to actually care for their parents. There is no money for any of the other options. This is being done on a daily basis by tens of thousands of people. They feed them, dress them, change the diapers, wash them and clean up the big messes. All without any fanfare or recognition.

Most advertising about caring for a parent is supported by senior associations, assisted living center and home care agencies telling you what you should do. They hire celebrities to talk about what they did and how they know what’s best for the rest of us. Why do they know best, because they are famous, got paid for the advertising or they can afford other options? Did they actually do the work to care for their parent? Celebrities talk about being a caregiver. I don’t want to be mean but do they actually change the diapers, give their parent a bath, clean them after a bad bowel movement? Or did they hire a nurse, caregiver or personal tech to do those jobs. I’m sure some have actually done some of the work but most because of their position probably can hire someone to do the disgusting jobs.

That is one of the reasons I wrote my book because no one represents the average person. With the senior associations you have no credibility because you have no verified credentials and are not part of the establishment. It is so hard for an unknown that has actually done the work to get their point across. That’s why my book is self published and self marketed. I could not get anyone to listen to my story even though it is a challenge that is happening everyday in tens of thousands of homes. Most associations and media organizations are not interested in regular people. I have contacted hundreds of media outlets and have had success with a few that thought my story was interesting enough to their viewers. For those television stations I am extremely grateful. Others have absolutely no interest or want you to pay to get access to their television shows. If I was famous or a celebrity I would be on television and radio stations across the country even if I didn’t do the work to care for my parents. But being an average person, you don’t get the time of day.

Well I’ve done the job and I feel I did it very well, just look at the result. My mom was not expected to survive long after her spine surgery and she did. She lasted 13 years longer than expected and was able to see her great grandchildren and be a part of their lives. That was because of the care she received and I was the one that gave her that care.

My goal is to inform as many people as possible of the real life challenge that might be ahead of them. I know the paperback is expensive and the book is not a great literary work but it is real life. It contains a lot of useful information that might help you in deciding to care for an elderly parent. The book details the burden and the enormous responsibility of being a caregiver. It is written by an average person that actually did all the work.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

When I Became A Caregiver Of My Parents

Most never give it a thought until the later years on “who” might take care of them. This decision, most of the time, is made after an emergency such as a stroke or heart attack. In the hospital you have to make this decision in a matter of a few hours or days. In my situation, my mother woke up one morning and yelled she couldn’t get out of bed, on that day my life changed forever.

When this occurs you have very little time for discussion and you have to make the decision quick. Some want to become caregivers of their parents, some due to cultural reasons become caregivers and others have no choice and have to take care of their elderly parents. Also some parents do not want to go into assisted living and want to stay in their own home or with family.

I had no experience in being a caregiver. My father had a lung disease and when the disease turned into cancer it took it’s toll quickly. I started by lifting him out of bed and helping him around the house. This was basic care but as time went on it became more detailed such as washing, shaving and more. His disease advanced and caused him to be in and out of the hospital. I basically learned how to care for him while doing it.

A few years after my father passed away, my mom woke up one morning and said she could not stand. I became her caregiver and once again learned as we went along because this is a situation where everyone is different and what you learn about one might not work with another. What worked for my dad didn’t always work for my mom. Just as before it was a constant learning experience and it continued until my mom passed away.

The hardest part for me was that it never stopped. I was on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If I wanted to take a break I would have to have someone stay with my mom. I would have to hire a caregiver to sit with her while I was gone. For me that was not an option because we did not have the money to hire someone to stay with her. Another problem was my mom did not like to have strangers in the house. It was a continuous job.

Being a caregiver also caused financial hardship. I had refinanced our home to cover expenses and also used credit cards. In fact I am still paying off the debt that I incurred while I was taking care of my mom even after I sold our house. I was lucky I was able to sell assets to cover some of the debt. Today a lot of people have no equity in their home, have no credit available or have no assets to sell.

Those of us in our 50’s and 60’s should use these examples to think about our future care.


Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Elderly Care Options

There are several options available for taking care of your elderly parents.

One is to put them into an assisted living facility. This is probably the most expensive option but it is also the least physical burden for the children. Your parents can start in an assisted living facility where they need little care and move to different parts of the facility as they need more care. The more services they need requires more expense. This can be paid by long term care insurance, the use of their retirement benefits and social security, the sale of a home or other assets, you making a monthly payment or some other financial arrangement. Most of the care is done by your parent until they need the staff to provide care.

A problem can arise when the money runs out and your parent or you can no longer afford the cost of care. Long Term Care Insurance usually sets a daily limit and anything over that limit come out of your parents pocket or your wallet.

If they want to remain in their home another option is home care and you hire a caregiver to come in and help them with their daily routines. This option is also very popular because others actually perform the care on your parent. Mom and dad stay in their home and a caregiver comes in on a daily basis to perform the care they need. Live in caregivers are also available but that is an expensive option. The cost can be paid by Long Term Care Insurance, Retirement and Social Security Benefits, Supplemental Insurance Benefits and depending on their condition, maybe Medicare. The other payment option is the sale of some assets, reverse mortgage, home equity loan or some other financial options. There is always the possibility that you might have to make some sort of payment to cover these services.

Once again a problem can arise when the money runs out and your parent or you can no longer afford the cost of care. Long Term Care Insurance, Supplemental Insurance and Medicare usually sets a daily limit and anything over that limit come out of your parents pocket or your wallet. If their condition worsens will their be benefits available to put your parents into an assisted living center. Will you be able to sell or borrow on their home to cover expenses?

Depending on how grave the condition, hospice care might be an option for end of life care. This seems to be a new way of taking care of the elderly. Before hospice was only for end of life care when there was no hope of recovery. More and more I am seeing people being put on hospice care when there is not an end of life concern. I’ve seen people put on hospice for Alzheimers disease, dementia and cancers when the patients had the will and wanted to fight the disease to get more time. Most of the time is was because the family did not know or want to care for the parent. They were looking for an easy way out

The option I chose was to become the caregiver. This might happen if your parents are living with you or neither of you can afford the other options. Cultural reason can also be another reason why some become caregivers of their parents. I decided I was going to care for my elderly parents because I was single and self employed. I was living with them and I felt it was my duty to care for them. My sisters had families and careers and I felt it was night right for the care of our parents to interfere with their lives. We also could not afford any of the other options. Long Term care insurance was never purchased, Medicare and Supplemental insurance covered very little as far as home care but they did cover the medical expense and some medical equipment. My shock was how fast it happened and how much work was involved. I had to do thing I never thought I could or would do. I tried to plan ahead but I had no idea what I was going to be involved. It became a full time 24 hours a day, 7 days a week job. It consumed my entire life and has affected me even today. I am still in the process of trying to rebuild my life after my mom passed away. It was definitely a life changing experience.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Medicare & Insurance

Most senior citizens have Medicare and supplement insurance to cover their medical needs. These two items cover most medical and hospitalization situations. Some might wonder what is Medicare and why do you need supplement insurance?

Medicare is a government run insurance plan for senior citizens. It has a Part A, Hospitalization, Part B, Medical, Part C, Advantage and Part D, Prescriptions. When you reach a certain age, at this time 65, and you paid into the Social Security System, you are eligible for Medicare. For a small premium you receive Hospitalization, Part A and Medical, Part B coverage and the limits are 80% and 20%. Which means Medicare pays 80% of the approved charges and you pay the remaining 20%. Approved charges are what Medicare deems acceptable for the services provided. Also the medical facility has to have a contract with Medicare. This can cause problems because the facility might have a Medicare contract but the treating physician does not, then you are responsible for 100% of the physicians fees.

For some medical and hospitalization that 20% co-payment amount can be quite large. In order to help with that co-payment some people purchase supplemental insurance. This covers the 20% co-payment that Medicare does not cover. Some of these supplemental policies might cover services that Medicare does not cover as well as prescriptions.

Basic Medicare does not cover prescriptions so you have to purchase Medicare Part D to cover your prescription expense. There are numerous plans and deductibles that have a wide variety of options. Some supplemental insurance plans do offer prescription coverage.

There are some Medicare plans, Part C, that cover 100% of the medical, hospitalization and offer prescription coverage. These plans also use your Medicare premium for the insurance coverage. These plans Medicare Advantage and the way they reduce costs is that they are usually an HMO, Health Maintenance Organization, or they limit what doctors and facilities you can use. For a higher premium you can opt for a different plan, such as a PPO, Preferred Provider Organization or indemnity plan and use the doctor or facility of your choice.

Medicare and Supplement Insurance has become a huge business and thousands of people have made careers out of trying to understand the rules of the game. It is a game because one day a service, procedure or item is approved and the next day it is not. It is a bureaucratic system that has special codes for billing and is usually a nightmare for the individual. As the health insurance system changes it seem trying to understand Medicare gets worse. Who knows what the future will bring.

With all this information what do you do? The good news is that if your parents have original Medicare and a supplement insurance or Medicare Advantage it does make the insurance process and financial burden a little easier. You should be able to take them to the doctor, medical facility or hospital and not have to worry about receiving huge bills. Depending on the billing department and the insurance handling the claims you might have to spend a lot of time on the phone trying to get certain billing matters corrected. Before you can do this you have to have your parent authorize you to talk on their behalf with Medicare and the insurance. Some companies have a form you can fill out and others have your parent do a phone interview that authorizes you to talk on their behalf. This is dictated by HIPAA, The Health Insurance Portability And Accountability Act.

If your parent only has original Medicare that only covers 80% of the approved charges you could be in store for some very large medical bills. There is no way to know how expensive medical care will be in the coming day, months or years. If you have money saved or assets you can sell, it might not be a problem but depending on your parents medical condition it might become one.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Effects Of Caring For Elderly Parents

Caring for an elderly parent will affect your life. Being a caregiver can be a part time situation or a full time job. Your life will be altered during the time you are providing care and for some the effects will go on for years after the care ends.

The hardest part for me was that it never stopped. I was on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week. My mom needed to have someone with her at all times, but we didn’t have the money to hire another caregiver and my mom did not like to have strangers in the house. So I would have one of my sisters stay with her so I could go shopping and do other errands. Even though I was not at the house I knew I had things to do when I got back so it was really wasn’t a break. It was a continuous job. Our doctor always told me to take a break, but that was easier said than done.

There are financial effects while taking care of a parent. Most people think insurance covers everything and with my parents’ insurance that was not true. Insurance covered the medical, hospitalization and some equipment but it did not cover the personal items needed. One of the biggest expenses is incontinence supplies and that was not covered. You're changing diapers many times a day and they are not cheap. That is a cost that adds up.

I was lucky I was able to sell assets to cover some of the debt. Today a lot of people have no equity in their home are maxed out on the credit cards or have no assets to sell. That’s another reason why I believe this is a ticking time bomb for most adults. It doesn’t matter the age, they have no idea about the cost of personal care. Some think they or their parents have it all planned out but when the time comes they might find out differently. That’s why you need to discuss this with your parents.

The aftermath of being a caregiver varies because everyone’s situation is different. For me it changed my life. Finding a job has been difficult because caring for an elderly parent is not considered recent employment. After 20 years of taking care of my parents I am now starting over.


I want you to know, if you decide to become a caregiver of a parent, it will be a life changing decision. After saying that I would not hesitate to make the same decision again. I am proud that I took care of my parents and I did my best. Because of that care my mom lived to over 92 years old, was able to see her great grandchildren and be a part of their lives. I also kept a promise to my dad.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-"You Got To Do What You Got To Do"
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo

To comment, please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

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