You Got To Do What You Got To Do

Summer Is Here

Summer is here and as a caregiver of a parent you always need to be aware of the higher temperatures. Depending on where you live you could still be under stay at home restrictions due to the Coronavirus, so thinking of going out might not be a problem. Even staying at home could be a cause for alarm with the summer heat.

When you go out you’re always aware of the higher temperatures and you NEVER leave your parent in the car. You also NEVER leave them in the open sun. As you get older your body doesn’t react to the heat the same as it did when you were younger and that can lead to disaster in an elderly person.

With most people staying at home because of state restrictions you might be inclined to allow your parent to go outside in the yard, patio or porch depending on their condition. Just because you’re at home don’t let your guard down and allow your parent to be affected by the summer heat. Make sure they are not in direct sunlight and are shaded. Have them wear a hat for protection, use sunscreen if their condition allows it and sunglasses to protect their eyes. Make sure you have plenty of water nearby so they can drink properly. Dress them in light colored clothing so their bodies don’t overheat. NEVER leave them unattended because it only takes a short time for them to become overheated. Once again just because they’re home is not a reason to forget to use common sense for when they are outside.

With stay at home restrictions still in effect in some states your parent should not be denied getting some outside air if their condition allows it. Use common sense to ensure they are prepared and cared for properly. Enforce social distancing and the wearing of facial masks if someone does happen to stop by unannounced. Taking the normal precautions can prevent your parent from getting sick because you do not want them to have to visit the doctor, urgent care or emergency room. Take common sense precautions to be safe.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2020 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Knowing Your Parent-More Important Now

With all the uncertainty surrounding the Covid-19 virus in the world today, knowing your parent and their condition has taken on a greater roll.

As you care for a parent you get to know every movement, sound, tell and quirk that they make or do. Sometimes you know how they feel before they tell you. With my parents I had a strong sense of how they acted and I could tell just by looking at them what was wrong.

Today with the Coronavirus you have to be on extra alert. If anyone visits you need to look for any changes in your parents demeanor or actions. If you have to take them out, such as for a medical appointment, you have to keep a keen eye on there usual mannerisms and routines. Not only for the 14 day period as is recommended but it needs to be done all the time because your parents are elderly and more at risk. That also goes for you too, not only could your parent be exposed to the Covid-19 virus so could you. In fact you are taking on more risk of being exposed because you’re probably interacting with more people. Any changes in your health, daily routines and mannerisms could signal a problem.

As you care for a parent, over time you know how they blink their eyes, make certain sounds, react when they are touched and more. You know their appetite and if it changes. You know if they are running a fever, are lethargic, have a stomach problem or just feel lousy. You know their sleeping habits and if they are going to have a good or bad night. You know your parent like you know yourself because you take so much time in caring for them.

All of this is important as you care for a parent because if you notice anything different from the normal, it might be time to call their physician to ask about the change. You and their doctor can discuss the situation and then decide if more follow up is needed or what other measures can be taken. Stay safe everyone.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2020 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Perform A Hazard Check Of Your Home

A friend recently broke her knee cap and needed to have emergency surgery. After spending some time in a rehabilitation facility she was sent home to to continue with her physical therapy. When she returned to her home she realized how items in the apartment made it a difficult to get around with a walker or wheelchair. When I visited her I pointed out some of the hazards in her home. Looking at the various rooms it brought back memories of walking around my house looking and making sure there were no hazards for my dad and mom. That was a routine I did constantly for over 20 years.

Before you even get in your home there are usually major obstacles, the steps outside the door mat and the door threshold. Some people go up the steps by using the large wheels of the wheelchair and others use the rails to hold and climb up the stairs. Others have ramps installed to overcome this problem. It all depends on the condition and ability of your parent.

Inside there can be all kinds of obstacles and hazards. Loose throw rugs and carpeting on the floor can cause someone to slide to disaster. Furniture placed too close together can prevent a wheelchair or walker from moving freely. Protruding cabinets, bookcases and tables can cause clothes to snag and prevent movement of a walker or wheelchair.

Some homes, especially older ones, have narrow halls and doorways. Some room doors are only 28 inches wide and the bathroom door can be only 24 inches wide. Too narrow for some walkers and wheelchairs. Narrow paths between bathroom vanities and kitchen cabinets can be an obstacle. Oven, dishwasher and refrigerator doors can prevent easy movement in the kitchen. Large beds and bedroom furniture make rooms a lot smaller to maneuver. Glass tables can protrude and be deadly if someone stumbles and falls on them. Light weighted chairs can move when you try to brace yourself for stability. The list of hazards and obstacles can be quite long.

Hazard and obstacle checking your home is a task that is ongoing and lasts as long as you are a caregiver. It needs to be completed constantly because your home environment changes, sometimes daily. Don’t become lax in this task because that’s when an accident will happen.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2020 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Paying Attention To The Weather

Paying attention to the weather is essential when you are the caregiver of a parent. Depending on their condition it can dictate how mobile they can be among other considerations. The weather can also cause danger to you as a caregiver especially if you have to help your parent move around.

When I was the caregiver of my parents, the change in the weather always brought some challenges. If the weather was moderate to severe and we could postpone our errands, we would decide if it was worth the extra effort to go out. If we were unable to postpone appointments, besides the obvious, rain, snow or extreme heat, it caused some serious thought. With my father I always had to be concerned about the cool weather and dampness due to the fact that he had a serious lung condition. Another problem was when it rained the slippery ground could cause him to slip and fall. One big concern when we had to go out in the rain was when he had to step into a vehicle. I had a large SUV with running boards on the side and as he stepped on them his shoes could slip on the grooved metal. The running boards had anti-slip strips across them but because of the angle of his foot when he stepped into the SUV it was always a concern. They could become very slippery when wet. When my father started to get into the vehicle I always stood behind him so I could brace or catch him if he started to slip or fall backwards.

Even getting into a car was a problem because he put one foot in the car to get on the seat which put him off balance. If he was unstable for any reason, the foot on the outside could slip and slide causing him to injure himself. Once again, I always stood in a position to catch him if he lost his balance or started to slip.

Walking on rain soaked sidewalks also presents a problem because the finish on the cement is smoother on some concrete than others. If the sidewalk is smooth, the rain water acts almost like ice making it easy for someone to slip. I would always walk in a position to catch or brace him if he was to slip or stumble.

I tried to anticipate any problems ahead of time, this way I could be ready if something did happen. One thing you can’t forget while you are watching out for your parent in the weather you also need to protect yourself from the same fate. You don’t want to slip or fall and take your parent down with you. A problem you want to avoid is hurting yourself while you are trying to support, brace or catch your parent if they do slip or fall. Remember, if you get hurt, who will take care of you and your parent?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2020 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Not Everyone Can Afford A Caregiver For An Elderly Parent

You see and hear advertising on television, radio, print and online that tell you the best options for the care of your elderly parent, such as this assisted care facility or caregiver service. In many ads celebrities tell you what options are best. They are all trying to sell you a facility or service and are those options what you or your parent truly want?

Assisted living centers are expensive and the cost varies depending on the type of care needed. This is a great option if you and your parent can afford the cost. But what if you do not have enough money to afford this type of care or your parent wants to stay in their home or with you?

You can hire a caregiver. This is great if you have the funds to hire an outside agency or and independent but what happens when the funds run out? When you hire a home care company they provide the care for your parent. You pay a fee and they take care of the rest. You can even hire a live-in caregiver. Once again this costs money and is expensive.

Some try for government assistance to help with the cost but what happens if you don’t qualify?

What if you can’t afford any of these services? Not everyone has the funds or assets available to afford an assisted living center or to hire a company to care for their parents in their home. Not everyone can afford a nurse, caregiver or health technician to visit daily to care for their parents on a daily basis. The average person is living paycheck to paycheck and just getting by. The additional expense can lead to financial disaster.

There are a lot of us that had no choice but to actually care for our parents. There is no money for any of the other options. For some they want to care for their elderly parents, for others it is a cultural issue to take care of their parents and this is being done on a daily basis by tens of thousands of people. They feed them, dress them, change the diapers, wash them and clean up the big messes. All without any fanfare or recognition.

Today caregiving is a big business because there are so many elderly parents that need care. Many senior associations have gotten on the bandwagon with advertisements, programs, seminars and referrals. Assisted living centers have become the new rage in elderly living. Home care companies have sprung up all over the country touting their special services. Celebrities advertise on television and radio talking about their caregiving experiences with their elderly parents. Books are being written every day about being a caregiver. There are so many so-called experts on this subject it can make your head spin. One thing to remember is that there is a lot more to being a caregiver of a parent than just feeding them dinner. Now don’t get me wrong all this information is good because it’s highlighting a problem that most people don’t consider. Taking care of an elderly parent is a ticking time bomb that most people ignore until it happens and then they rush to make a decision without considering all the options and pitfalls.

I know you are asking yourself about my book, “Aren’t you one of these so-called experts?” The answer to that question is, “yes,” but I believe there is a difference. My book is not written about someone else or did I have someone else do the work for me. I actually did all the work in taking care of my parents. Unfortunately, nobody wants to hear from or listen to an unknown person that actually did the work. That’s why my book is self edited and published, it is real life.

So when you see the commercials for assisted living centers, home care companies, celebrities talking about their caregiving experience or books about caring for elderly parents. Think about what category you might fall into and consider what your situation might be with your elderly parents. Talk to them and start a discussion about their future care, what options are best and what you can afford.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Maintaining Independence

Most people like their independence and the ability to take care of themselves. Parents are use to taking care of their children and being on their own. When they need help, it is hard for them to give up their independence and rely on others. Everyone wants to be independent and not rely on anyone for their everyday life.

When you start taking care of a parent, they feel that they have lost their independence. This reality hits them hard especially if they have to give up their drivers license. With a drivers license they had the freedom to go wherever and whenever they wanted. Through most of their entire life they had that feeling and once they no longer have a drivers license they feel that their freedom is gone.

Another situation is they have lived by themselves for a long period of time. They’ve grown accustom to doing things on their schedule and not someone else’s. They have their own routines, ways of doing certain things and no one tells them how to do it differently. When they move in with someone they feel that independence is gone.

As a caregiver that loss can become a burden on you because you have to try to keep them busy. You also will be the one to transport them from place to place because they probably will no longer be able to drive.

For my parents, one of the ways I tried to make them still feel active was to try to keep them engaged in their care. I would also always ask for their advice when I needed to make a decision. Whenever visitors came over I would do my best to keep my parents engaged in the conversation and make sure they were part of the discussion. This allowed them to voice their opinions and not feel like they were pushed off to the side.

They also kept some of their independence because I would let them help around the house. I would give my mom chores to do during the day such as folding clothes. It kept her busy and she felt she was helping me out. As always it depends on their condition but you need to do what you can to keep them involved. This makes them feel useful and they feel like they are not just letting the days pass by.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Elder Abuse

Unfortunately elder abuse is a big problem and health providers are required by law to report it to the proper authorities. In recent years doctors offices, outpatient facilities, labs and other healthcare offices are required to check all patients for abnormal bruising. They also ask the patient questions to see if they are being taken care of properly. This world is a crazy place and there are a lot of elderly people abused and a lot of them are taken advantage of by “so-called loved ones.”

Being a caregiver also means that you are under a microscope. You need to be at your best so your parent is cared for properly. Make sure they are clean, well nourished, safe and that their medications are taken properly. Be aware of any bruises, skin ulcers and bed sores because as people age their skin becomes thin. So even a simple bruise could be cause for suspicion to a doctor, nurse or other medical professional. The care you give your parent is checked every time you go to the doctor or to a medical facility. If your parent has an emergency and is taken to the hospital they are given a full body inspection when they are admitted. By law in many states, medical professionals have to report any findings of suspected abuse and an investigation will be started. Anyone with a conscience should be shocked to see how many parents are neglected by their children. I was amazed when a community college instructor at a hospital told me that a lot of elderly patients showed some signs of abuse or neglect. She told me that a lot of the elderly patients her students saw in the hospital were neglected. Some were physically abused, a lot were malnourished and not clean. Many cases of elder abuse are committed by the patient’s children or caregivers.

Elder abuse not only occurs at home, it can also happen in assisted living, rehabilitation, hospitals and other medical facilities. Paid caregivers, both individuals and those working for companies have also been the cause of elder abuse as well as other medical professionals. Unfortunately, as a family member you are more scrutinized than the others because the professionals have lawyers, companies, associations, and government agencies behind them. You on the other hand, are on your own, so be cautious, aware and careful while you are a caregiver because you are responsible for everything you do.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Daily Routines

One of the best ways to keep your elderly parent busy, alert and engaged is to have a daily schedule or routine. This could part of their daily hygiene or helping with tasks around the house. It can help them retain whatever motor skills they have and keep their mind alert because they have to think. After a short time they will get use to the schedule or daily routine and it will also give them the feeling they are helping because it makes them feel useful.

It depends on your parents condition on what type of a daily schedule or routine you will maintain. With my mom she was not able to get herself out of bed, so in the morning I would wake her, give her the morning medication and she would watch the morning news. I would then lift her out of bed and put her in the bathroom. She would do what she needed to do, call me and I would lift her into the wheelchair. I would then wheel her to the table and we would have a breakfast lunch combo. We would then do our errands or appointments. If none were scheduled she would do her chores, such as folding clothes. In the afternoon she would have a snack, I’d give her the afternoon medication and then a little later put her back in bed so she could rest for a while. Later I would lift her out of bed into the wheelchair and roll her into the living room. She would watch baseball or the news while I made dinner. When she still had some dexterity in her hands, I’d let her help by sorting out vegetables or getting some of the ingredients ready. After dinner I would clean up and do dishes while she watched television. When I was finished we would sit and talk, play board games or cards. It all helped to keep her thinking and it forced her to use her mind.

About two hours later I would get her bed ready and lift her into it. I would give her the evening medication and she would relax watching television or listen to music. She would fall asleep a few hours later and we would start the same routine over the next day.

This routine evolved over years because of her condition. In the beginning she was able to care more for herself and needed less help with hygiene. As her condition worsened she would no longer be able to do certain tasks so that meant I had to do them for her. She tried her best to do as much as she could so she didn’t feel useless or a burden to me. As time went on she did become a little frustrated because she was not able to do as much and needed more help. It was a system that worked very well for us for over 13 years. In fact our routine lasted until about 2 weeks before she passed away.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Caregiving-A Constant Learning Experience

Being a caregiver is an on going learning experience and the education does not stop until you are no longer caring for your parent. The medical field and caregiving is changing daily so you will never know everything. New technologies and procedures are making a huge difference in the quality of care. Knowing what to do is the result of learning whatever you can.

When I was taking care of my dad it seemed that everyday was a unique challenge. I was in uncharted territory and everything was new and a learning experience. My father’s situation, when he became seriously ill, proceeded rapidly and he passed away within six months of his worsening condition. I learned a lot in a short time. With my mom it was over thirteen years of unique challenges and situations. It seemed whenever we went to the doctor or she had a diagnostic test there was a new challenge ahead. I was learning as I was going along.

No matter what you have been taught or what you have read you will always be learning when you are taking care of your parent. Depending on your parents condition and the diagnosis, new procedures might be able to help you. What you do today might not be what you do tomorrow. The same goes with your daily routines, what you have done for many months might change because you learn to do something different that makes it easier and/or better for your parent. Anything that can help you with your daily tasks should always be welcomed.

Not only is it a learning experience for you but it is also for your parent. They are also learning because probably this is the first time someone has had to take care of them since they were a child. Things that they did for themselves for years now have to be handled by someone else. Routines that were normal and they took for granted have to be carried out by you so they can go on with their daily life. That might be hard to get use to so they are learning how to cope with the situation. That is another reason why you need to put yourself in their shoes because it would probably be hard for you if you were in the same situation.

As things change while you are a caregiver the more you learn, the more you can adapt means the more you can do. Caregiving is not an exact profession because it is different for each person that you are caring for. It is also a job that is a constantly revolving process. You will know your parent so well that you will be able to notice every little change and you will adapt your care to deal with it. It is a continuing learning experience that will last as long as you are caring for them.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Taking Care Of Elderly Parents

I’m James Colozzo the author of “You Got To Do What You Got To Do,” My Experience As A Caregiver Taking Care Of My Parents For Over Twenty Years. This is my first blog post and I would like to discuss taking care of elderly parents. This topic affects adults with living parents because most people have not planned ahead and that’s why I say it’s “A Challenge For Baby Boomers To Millennials.”

The older generation struggled and lived paycheck to paycheck to provide for the family. They never heard of long term care insurance and even if it was available there was not enough money left over to cover the monthly premium. Most never gave it a thought until the later years on “who” might take care of them. They thought that Medicare would cover these expenses and that is true for most medical and hospitalization but not for personal care. This decision, most of the time, is made after an emergency such as a stroke or heart attack. In the hospital you have to make this decision in a matter of a few hours or days.

In my situation, my mother woke up one morning and yelled she couldn’t get out of bed because she had no strength in her legs. On that day my life changed forever. From that day forward she needed 24 hour a day care, 7 days a week. She needed to be lifted to and from bed, the bathroom, the shower, the wheelchair. She could no longer be left alone and needed help with a lot of the tasks we take for granted. I started taking care of her full time because I made I promise to my father when he was ill. I just never thought it would happen so fast. When this occurs you have very little time for discussion and you have to make the decision quick.

We always want to be prepared for life’s events but unfortunately most of the time we are not prepared for this situation. Some want to become caregivers of their parents, others have no choice and have to take care of their elderly parents. That’s one of the reasons I wrote “You Got To Do What You Got To Do” is to let people know how much work is involved before they take on this enormous responsibility and how it will probably change their life.

I had no experience in being a caregiver. My father was diagnosed with a lung disease in the 1970’s. We knew this disease would progress and make his life difficult. He was a strong man and he fought this disease until the early 90’s. I have two sisters but they had families and careers. This kept them extremely busy and I felt it would not be fair to them to interrupt their family life. Since I was single and had my own business, I decided that I would take care of our dad. When his lung disease turned into cancer it took its toll quickly. I detail in the book how I started to lift him out of bed and help him around the house. This was basic care but as time went on it became more detailed such as washing, shaving and more. His disease advanced and he was in and out of the hospital. I basically learned how to care for him while doing it. The hospital, at that time, did not offer much in the form of advice for a caregiver. He died in 1995.

In 1999 my mom woke up and said she could not stand. I detail in the book how it is different for a son taking care of his mom versus his father. I had to do things that I thought I never would have to do. Once again I learned as I went along because this is a situation where everyone is different and what you learn about one might not work with another. What worked for my dad didn’t work for my mom.

In my book I give you an idea of how much work is involved, the burden and responsibility. It was a learning experience and it continued until my mom passed away. In fact I was still learning about the effects to my life even after she passed away.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-"You Got To Do What You Got To Do"
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo

To make a comment to the author, please email author@takingcareofaparent.com