You Got To Do What You Got To Do

Covid Precautions-Stay At Home

During these uncertain times the most important precaution to take to be safe is to stay at home. As a caregiver of a parent you need to make sure you are safe therefore your parent is safe.

This depends on your parents condition. Some might have to go out for life saving medical procedures, such as dialysis, and that’s where being a partner with your doctor is so important. Other instances, due to new technology, might be able to be addressed by using your smartphone, tablet or computer.

The main thing is not to go out unless you have to go out. If you are the sole caregiver, hopefully you can afford or find someone that can do the grocery shopping for you or you can order the items online and have them delivered. Prescriptions can be a problem but a lot of pharmacies during this crisis are offering delivery service.

If you must go out hopefully you have someone you trust and know has not been exposed to Covid-19 that can stay with your parent while you go out. If necessary have your parent stay in a different room so this person can social distance properly. When you return, keep all items away from your parent until you can wash them, if necessary. Make sure you clean yourself and wash your hands thoroughly before you interact with your parent.

We are in uncertain times and no on knows which way this crisis will go. You need to be vigilant and use common sense to prevent you and your parent from being infected.

Check with your doctor or other medical professional to see if medical appointments can be postponed. Having to go to a doctor’s office or medical facility unnecessarily can put you and your parent at risk.

Self quarantine, even if you or your parent are not infected should be considered. Treat everybody as being infected is a safe precaution. Not allowing visitors to your home that are possibly sick is always a good idea even when there was no crisis because your parent is more susceptible to bacteria and germs. Now during the Coronavirus crisis we are all susceptible to infection. Today anybody can be a carrier so keeping visitors away is common sense. This can cause problems with grandchildren and other relatives but I’m sure everyone wants to keep grandma and/or grandpa safe. With today’s technology there are many ways to still see each other. It’s not the same as a personal visit where you can hug each other but it will reduce the risk of infection for everyone.

The are too many unknowns with the Covid-19 virus, even the experts disagree over the risks and outcome. As a caregiver of a parent all you can do is use common sense, take precautions and do the best you can. Hopefully that will be enough to prevent you from having to take your parent to the hospital and being exposed to all kinds of risks. Stay safe everyone.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2020 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Elderly Care Options

There are several options available for taking care of your elderly parents.

One is to put them into an assisted living facility. This is probably the most expensive option but it is also the least physical burden for the children. Your parents can start in an assisted living facility where they need little care and move to different parts of the facility as they need more care. The more services they need requires more expense. This can be paid by long term care insurance, the use of their retirement benefits and social security, the sale of a home or other assets, you making a monthly payment or some other financial arrangement. Most of the care is done by your parent until they need the staff to provide care.

A problem can arise when the money runs out and your parent or you can no longer afford the cost of care. Long Term Care Insurance usually sets a daily limit and anything over that limit come out of your parents pocket or your wallet.

If they want to remain in their home another option is home care and you hire a caregiver to come in and help them with their daily routines. This option is also very popular because others actually perform the care on your parent. Mom and dad stay in their home and a caregiver comes in on a daily basis to perform the care they need. Live in caregivers are also available but that is an expensive option. The cost can be paid by Long Term Care Insurance, Retirement and Social Security Benefits, Supplemental Insurance Benefits and depending on their condition, maybe Medicare. The other payment option is the sale of some assets, reverse mortgage, home equity loan or some other financial options. There is always the possibility that you might have to make some sort of payment to cover these services.

Once again a problem can arise when the money runs out and your parent or you can no longer afford the cost of care. Long Term Care Insurance, Supplemental Insurance and Medicare usually sets a daily limit and anything over that limit come out of your parents pocket or your wallet. If their condition worsens will their be benefits available to put your parents into an assisted living center. Will you be able to sell or borrow on their home to cover expenses?

Depending on how grave the condition, hospice care might be an option for end of life care. This seems to be a new way of taking care of the elderly. Before hospice was only for end of life care when there was no hope of recovery. More and more I am seeing people being put on hospice care when there is not an end of life concern. I’ve seen people put on hospice for Alzheimers disease, dementia and cancers when the patients had the will and wanted to fight the disease to get more time. Most of the time is was because the family did not know or want to care for the parent. They were looking for an easy way out

The option I chose was to become the caregiver. This might happen if your parents are living with you or neither of you can afford the other options. Cultural reason can also be another reason why some become caregivers of their parents. I decided I was going to care for my elderly parents because I was single and self employed. I was living with them and I felt it was my duty to care for them. My sisters had families and careers and I felt it was night right for the care of our parents to interfere with their lives. We also could not afford any of the other options. Long Term care insurance was never purchased, Medicare and Supplemental insurance covered very little as far as home care but they did cover the medical expense and some medical equipment. My shock was how fast it happened and how much work was involved. I had to do thing I never thought I could or would do. I tried to plan ahead but I had no idea what I was going to be involved. It became a full time 24 hours a day, 7 days a week job. It consumed my entire life and has affected me even today. I am still in the process of trying to rebuild my life after my mom passed away. It was definitely a life changing experience.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Doctors & Other Medical Professionals

The most important person you need when you are a caregiver is the doctor. They are there for your parent as well as you and can make life easier or harder for both of you. You need a doctor that will work with you instead of against you. Now this might have change due to The Affordable Care Act. When I was a caregiver Obamacare had not been implemented so I don’t know if any changes have happened to the way doctors work with patients and caregivers. The other change that we experienced was HIPAA, Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. This law took medical privacy to the extreme and it made it a little more difficult to deal with some healthcare professionals. It was not impossible but it meant a lot more paperwork and a little more effort on your part.

My parents were raised to always show a doctor respect and this was due to the reason they were considered a professional and that they went to college. I was taught that a doctor was just like any other professional trade with the exception that they went to school for a very long time. In my parents day whatever the doctor said was law and you didn’t question him for any reason. In my day it is perfectly normal and expected to ask the doctor questions and verify their diagnoses. Years ago second opinions were never considered and not a normal procedure. Times change, sometime for the better, and I think this is definitely a change for the better.

A lot of people complain that doctors never listen to what they say. They have set answers and responses to all situations. There is a simple solution to this problem, tell the doctor what you need. One thing you to remember about doctors is that they work for the patient. Yes, they are either self employed, work for a medical group or are on staff at a hospital but the patient is their customer. Some say the customer is Medicare, the insurance company or now the government but it is the patient’s life. If you are responsible for the day to day care of your parent that means technically they also work for you. Medicare, insurance or the government might pay all or part of the bills but it is still your parent’s life and that is your only concern.

A lot of doctors get frustrated when they are talking to an elderly person. These doctors are always busy and sometimes they talk soft and fast. A lot of elderly have a hard time hearing what the doctor is trying to tell them and they force the doctor to keep repeating what they say. When your in the room with your parent the doctor will start talking to you and bypass talking to your parent. This can cause a problem because your parent wants the doctor to talk to them.

Unfortunately today's doctors have to see many patients to sustain their practice or the medical group. With all the changes that are happening in the healthcare industry in only looks like it’s going to get worse. Physicians spend less and less time with their patients because quantity has become a priority.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-“You Got To Do What You Got To Do”
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2019 James Colozzo

To make a comment please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

You Know Your Parent

No one knows your parent better than you during the time you are taking care of them. As that care continues you will notice even more. This comes in very handy when you have to tell their condition to a doctor. They forget a lot and it will be up to you to tell the doctors of certain problems and conditions.

I knew things about them that they didn’t know themselves such as sleeping and eating habits. Over the years of taking care of them I knew how certain medications would affect them and how we could counteract it. I knew what they could tolerate and what made them sick. I probably knew them better than I knew myself.

This knowledge comes from the day to day care of your parent. You will learn all their quirks and mannerisms if you already don’t know what they are. You will be able to tell a reaction before there is an action and you will know the result before something starts. All this information will go a long way in helping your doctors diagnose and treat your parent. It will also go a long way in helping you care for your parents.

Being a caregiver to your parent puts you in a unique position as far as their medical condition. You see everything that they do, how they react and how something affects them. When you take them to the doctors or hospital you are their eyes, ears and nose.

You know their conditions like a book and you can relay that information to the doctor. You know how certain treatments affect their condition and how they react. Certain medications might cause an adverse reaction and you are the first one that will notice and you can relay this information to the doctor. You know everything about them and you can relay this information to any medical professional that needs it. A lot of times the elderly don’t understand or hear what they are being told by a doctor and that can cause problems during their treatment. Many times when I was taking care of my dad and mom they would hear something completely different from what the doctor was actually saying. Sometimes they didn’t hear or understand the problem or treatment and it was good that I was in the room because I heard everything the doctor said. It all depends on your parents condition and how much they are still involved in their healthcare but you become their safety net. If they are confused about a treatment or medication you can discuss it with them and call the doctor for verification.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-"You Got To Do What You Got To Do"
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo


To comment, please email author@takingcareofaparent.com

Effects Of Caring For Elderly Parents

Caring for an elderly parent will affect your life. Being a caregiver can be a part time situation or a full time job. Your life will be altered during the time you are providing care and for some the effects will go on for years after the care ends.

The hardest part for me was that it never stopped. I was on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week. My mom needed to have someone with her at all times, but we didn’t have the money to hire another caregiver and my mom did not like to have strangers in the house. So I would have one of my sisters stay with her so I could go shopping and do other errands. Even though I was not at the house I knew I had things to do when I got back so it was really wasn’t a break. It was a continuous job. Our doctor always told me to take a break, but that was easier said than done.

There are financial effects while taking care of a parent. Most people think insurance covers everything and with my parents’ insurance that was not true. Insurance covered the medical, hospitalization and some equipment but it did not cover the personal items needed. One of the biggest expenses is incontinence supplies and that was not covered. You're changing diapers many times a day and they are not cheap. That is a cost that adds up.

I was lucky I was able to sell assets to cover some of the debt. Today a lot of people have no equity in their home are maxed out on the credit cards or have no assets to sell. That’s another reason why I believe this is a ticking time bomb for most adults. It doesn’t matter the age, they have no idea about the cost of personal care. Some think they or their parents have it all planned out but when the time comes they might find out differently. That’s why you need to discuss this with your parents.

The aftermath of being a caregiver varies because everyone’s situation is different. For me it changed my life. Finding a job has been difficult because caring for an elderly parent is not considered recent employment. After 20 years of taking care of my parents I am now starting over.


I want you to know, if you decide to become a caregiver of a parent, it will be a life changing decision. After saying that I would not hesitate to make the same decision again. I am proud that I took care of my parents and I did my best. Because of that care my mom lived to over 92 years old, was able to see her great grandchildren and be a part of their lives. I also kept a promise to my dad.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

James Colozzo
Author-"You Got To Do What You Got To Do"
www.takingcareofaparent.com

James Colozzo is not a medical expert or professional and has no formal training or education on this subject. He is an average person that was given a challenge and had to deal with the situation. His experience comes from the over 20 years that he actually did all the work to care for his elderly parents and their medical conditions. Since every person, condition and situation is different, what Mr. Colozzo did to care for his parents might not be suitable for others. You need to partner with your physician to find what type of care is best for your situation.
Copyright © 2018 James Colozzo

To comment, please email author@takingcareofaparent.com